St. Augustine's didn't reopen for 3 days after that horrific event. Those lucky few who were saved from spending the afternoon straddling a toilet tremble in fear as they recall the smell, the sounds and the primal fury as hundreds of bowels fight for relief. The gymnasium had to be converted into a makeshift infirmary to treat those who finally stepped out of the bathroom. Nurse Tanaka was oddly quiet as she moved between victims, handing out anti-diarrhea meds. Even stranger though is that she didn't give out her trademark lollipops.
Once everyone was treated and escorted from the school grounds, the real trial was restoring the plumbing back to normal. Miss Plugg was commended on her commitment, working day and night unclogging a record number of lavatories. As life returned to normal, the horrific events of "The great squirts of '16" became but a distant memory.
Until the end of the year though when the yearbook publishes that hilarious photo someone snapped of Miss Koyama stuffing her soiled panties into a trashcan.